![]() ![]() Well, in my case, one of the parts I include in my officiant speech at the top of the ceremony is what each member of the couple loves about the other. “Gee, Mark, isn’t that overly simplistic and cryptic? Where’s the flowery stuff?” Make them as funny and personal and heavy as you like and as you can. So I literally tell my couple: when you sit down to write your vows, fill in the blanks on any or all of the following sentences, and repeat as many times as possible. The very next question that comes up is “What do we actually say? How do we write the wedding vows?”My answer: don’t overthink this. Have the wedding vow booklets ready either in your binder, on a nearby table, or with a member of the wedding party. A second option: some couples opt for wedding vow booklets that are kept close at hand during the ceremony and they each read from their book.(If the vows are different, make sure you don’t mix them up!) When it’s time for them to read their vows in their ceremony, I’ll hand them their sheet. One option: the couple will email me their vows ahead of time (each separately if they don’t want to see each other’s). I’ll format them to each fit on a single sheet of paper, print them out, put them each in a plastic sleeve, and tuck them into my binder.Because ‘ain’t no way they’re extracting a sweaty wad of crumpled paper from their clothing when it comes time to say their vows. ![]() So, with that established – that they’ll be reading the vows they wrote – we have two options. Unless they’re some kind of freakish trained actors who are used to memorizing the five acts of Shakespeare and regurgitating them in front of hundreds of people while simultaneously realizing that this juncture is one of the most significant of their whole lives… they just won’t be used to the pressure of the moment. When a couple want to write and read their own vows, the first thing I tell them is that they should probably read them in the ceremony, not try to recite them from memory. Anyway – however they get to the decision, some couples opt to write their own vows. Okay, maybe one half of the couple does and the other needs some significant convincing. Some couples just know: they’ve always wanted to write their own heartfelt vows and say them in the ceremony.
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